All of you who have been following the blog and/or the show must have listened at some point to Luminus and Quivering using the following phrase: “We have managed to evolve from being carebears to being noobs™”… If you haven’t heard that go check your ears or something cause they’ve been literally  spamming it. Seriously, stand up and go check your ears. Now if you have, congratulations, you are healthy (or your ears are sound at least) and you can go on reading this entry!

Well, we evolved alright. But evolving doesn’t necessarily mean excluding all the elements that characterized us as “carebears”. Those elements played a vital role on the shaping of our game style. What I am trying to say here is that we still do carebear stuff. And I am proud to say that I like it. So I was surprised to see that the “Shameless Recruiting Post” entry didn’t include any references to the option of mining in 0.0. Now from this point on I’ll try to convince you to join me in mining operations in the Providence Region under the flag of SI Radio Corp.

Considering that I’ve done mining ops in high sec, low sec, null sec and w-space, I believe that I am an experienced miner. For the past year my corpmates and I have been mining stranded in w-space, spamming directional and hoping that we could either be fast enough to spot a probe on the endless list of items that appear as scan results, or that CCP would some day in add probes to overview and save us time and money. But the list thing never worked, and the overview thing never came. And then Rooks and Kings included themselves into the equation and a volcano exploded in Iceland. So what happened is we came to 0.0 space, but you know that already cause you are following the blog and/or the show (If you are not then you should start looking for a new search engine cause the one you use, got you into a blog for an MMORPG with spaceships) . Anyways, while everyone in my corp was fitting ships to go do ratting, anomalies, pvp and other 0.0 stuff, the first thing I did was to take my covops and fly 100km away from the first Asteroid Belt I could find. And there they were! Concentrated, dense, condensed, massive, solid, rich, silvery…O-M-G. Those we cannot find in w-space! Oh and look…What is that thing in local? Portraits? THIS IS AWESOME, I GOT LOCAL AGAIN!!1! We can now mine without the fear of being victims of surprise butt-rape! Needless to say, at that point I jizzed in my pod.

If you are still reading this and making fun of me for talking about carebear stuff, calling your friends and asking them to post photos of nerdy guys in the comment section of this post and entitle them  “You must look like this” you should stop now cause I am familiar with the martial arts and I’ll find you and kick your ass! Ok, maybe not, but still, stop…

Then I turned to my teammates and said “Guys, I think I’d like to go do some mining now, anyone interested in doing some hauling for me and clearing the belts of rats?” Replies to my request varied from: “Go die in a fire you damn carebear faggot” to “Kick, Ban, Kill” and “Oh wait you are serious? Let me laugh even harder”. And I know the guys in real life. I can kick most of their ass as well (martial arts etc, remember?).

Anyways, point is that since all my corpmates have abandoned me between huge asteroid and the benefit of not losing 25% of the minerals to the carbon monoxide that the Refining Array of a POS unleashes into space I am honored to announce that we will be recruiting miners as well because I want to! Fuck Yeah! So here is what you need to know:

UNCLE MERINID WANTS YOU!

Requirements:

• You need to be a mining barge pilot that can at least fly a retriever. If you bring a mining battleship in one of my operations I will seek you and I will destroy you in real life after I pay Noir to kill you in game. Don’t even think about it…there is no “but”. THERE IS NO “BUT”!
• You need to be willing to participate in mining operations in 0.0 space
• You need to be willing to maximize your yield by training in order to able to use all the mining crystals and getting Astrogeology and Mining at V. Also Mining Upgrades skill should be trained. Mining Drone skills are optional.
• You need to like mining. Don’t apply as a miner while hoping that I can teach you my martial art techniques, it will never happen.
• You need to be friendly and have a good attitude towards all members of the corporation
• You do not need to be a main character to join. Alt characters are also welcome, provided that you are active.
• Boobs are a plus…no, not man-boob, if you got them keep that info for yourself.
• You need to know how to align at a station and how to check local for reds…
• Also a plus is to watch TV series and have a second monitor in order to  do so when mining. It helps the time go faster if it is 5 o’clock in the morning and no-one is online for you to talk to.

What we offer:

• All of the things that Quivering mentioned in the “Shameless Recruiting Post” blog entry. Yes, Corp will provide you with an insured mining ship and the mining crystals you will be needing.
• No you are not only wanted for your mining skills. Our corporation activities will be open to you as will any solo stuff that the Providence Region can provide including anomalies, pvp, or whatever else you can think of.

What we need from you:

• Send an eve-mail to Merinid Dormer, with a statement or a picture or whatever. no man-boobs please.
• User ID and Limited API key in order to check your skills, cause otherwise I risk my mental health when you land on grid with a mining Hyperion and say to me “I need to know what rock you want me to hit first? I got Miner I, Mining Drones, Expanded Cargohold II and I also managed to include  a Bucket Of Epic Fail in my fitting. Hooray I am a miner, awesome”.
• Be available for an interview with Merinid Dormer through Eve-Voice (date and time will be arranged through eve-mail).

Recruitment will officially open May 1st. Applications before that time are also welcome, but we won’t be able to accept anyone until May 1st.

This is not an invitation to miners only, this is the extended version of the invitation we have already posted. I haven’t posted anything in the blog for a while and I know you missed me. Anyways, Join us in our mining operations. We need you! Together we can deplete belts of their asteroids and have fun while doing it! Let’s Get Rich, Or Die Mining!

Merinid Dormer